


happily ever after (not)

by Pomfry



Category: Super Sons (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Damian is the damsel in distress, Gen, Humor, Jon nopes out of there, he does not like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 13:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13248942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomfry/pseuds/Pomfry
Summary: Damian wakes up in a bed, staring up at a wooden ceiling, which isvery wrong.So wrong, in fact, that he doesn’t notice that he’s wearing a dress immediately. He sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed and that’s when he notices that he’s wearing a dress.





	happily ever after (not)

**Author's Note:**

> i....i don't know.
> 
> But big thanks to my friends ash and catchy! They drew the image and its _amazing._

Damian wakes up in a bed, staring up at a wooden ceiling, which is _very wrong._ So wrong, in fact, that he doesn’t notice that he’s wearing a dress immediately. He sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed and _that’s_ when he notices that he’s wearing a dress.

It’s a rather plain dress, all things considered. It billows out at the waist and somehow makes it look like he has a chest, even if it is a rather small one, and Damian blinks at it.

Just…

“What the hell is going on,” he says aloud, and birds sing outside. He turns around and _glares,_ rather ferociously, at the tree outside the window.

There are no trees in Gotham.

Damian scowls and stands, the _stupid fucking dress_ bouncing with the movement.

Okay, what the fuck.

That’s when two woman bustle in, dressed in red, yellow, and blue, and that’s when Damian starts searching for a knife.

\--

 

“Prince Philip!”

Jon groans and slams a hand over his face. “No,” he says stubbornly, and then the name registers.

Prince _Philip?_

Jon opens his eyes and looks down at his clothing, because that is _not_ what pants feel like.

What he gets is things that are _like_ pants but not, and he leans around the horse in front of him and blanches when he sees the castle in front of them. It’s covered in _thorns,_ and Jon has a very strong thought of what just might be happening.

“Oh _no,”_ he says. “Damian is going to _kill_ me.”

 

\--

 

Okay. So Damian is apparently named Briar Rose. Damian is aware of just where that name comes from, and it makes his blood pressure _skyrocket._

“Oh, Briar,” sighs the one in blue. “You’re birthday is today, and you’re in such a bad mood!."  
  
Damian bristles, snarling at her. “First of all,” he hisses angrily, “my name is not _Briar Rose,_ it’s _Damian Wayne,_ and second I am a boy!”

The one in yellow giggles, patting him on the head. “Of course you are, dear,” she says soothingly, and then kicks him out so that they can do something.

Damian thinks of all of the times he had to sharpen a stake out of wood and smiles.

_Yes._

 

\--

 

 _”No,”_ Jon says forcefully. “No. I am not going in there and facing Damian’s wrath.”

“But, sire,” says the man with him - Jon thinks his name is Samuel or something - and Jon whirls around to face him.

“Damian will _stab me,”_ he says, eyes wide. ‘Will stab me and laugh as I bleed, because he is _sleeping beauty.”_  
  
Samuel doesn’t look like he understands him. Jon groans.

He is going to die today. By Damian’s hand or by Maleficent’s. _He will die._

 

\--

 

Damian finds a castle.

It is a very big castle, and bustling with people.

They also say, “Hello miss!”

Damian wants to _stab them until they stop breathing._

 _”I am not a female,”_ he tells everyone, and they all look confused. Damian wants to hit something.

He finds a room full of spindle wheels, ignores the one that’s intact and _glowing green,_ and starts gathering up the needles. If he works it right, he can make a dagger out of these. There are thousands of them.

Benefits of having paranoid rules, Damian thinks maliciously, and walks out of the room with his prizes.

Take that, Maleficent. Your curse does nothing against his rage.

 

\---

 

Jon turns the horse around and starts running away.

Nope. He is not facing Damian when he is angry about being the damsel.

Not happening.

“Sire,” shouts Samuel, and Jon resolutely doesn’t look back at the castle, because he if did, he could _feel_ Damian’s fury.

He shivers. That’s why there’s thorns.

Damian’s hate is making the land hate too.

Jon shivers again and goes faster.

 

\--

 

Damian finds a sword instead and is very pleased with it. He dumps the needles at the knights feet and picks up the sword, testing it’s balance.

Very good, but not what he’s used to. Luckily, Mother believed in training in everything, so he has experience.

Damian swings it up on his shoulder, takes the scabbard, says thank you to the dazed knight, and takes his horse.

Time for Maleficent to die.

 

\--

 

Jon doesn’t stop running until he hears a scream.

Oh dear.

He turns his horse and finds -

Yep. That’s Damian, all right. He’s wearing a dress and the look on his face makes any possible laughter stop.

Oh dear oh dear.

Maleficent is at his friend’s feet and Damian grips her by the collar. “Make everyone see that fact that I am a _male,”_ he says, all fury and power, and Jon feels bad for Maleficent. Truly, he does. Nobody deserved Damian like this.

Then he had a thought. If that was the kingdom that had Sleeping Beauty in an enchanted sleep, why was Damian awake?  
  
“Samuel,” he says blandly. “We might have taken a wrong turn somewhere. That is not the castle we were looking for.”

Unless, of course, Damian’s anger overrode any magic cast on him.

Jon shudders. A terrifying thought.

“Briar Rose,” chokes out Maleficent, and, oh dear, Damian has a sword to her throat.

“Damian,” Jon says. “Please put the sword down.”

Damian stops and turns, and Jon can see the moment he recognizes the fact that Jon’s wearing pants and a crown.

Rage fills his face and Jon takes off running.

“How dare you,” Damian howls, practically spitting with anger, and Jon winces.

“I didn’t choose to wear this,” he yells back, slightly panicked as sword almost chops his arm off. “Holy _crap!”_

“Everyone has been calling me a female, Jon,” Damian snarls, and Jon yelps.

“Not my fault! Blame whoever stuck us here!”  
  
Damian huffs in disgust as they end up back where they started. Jon gives Maleficent a look.

“By the way,” he asks sarcastically, “how many kingdoms do you curse? Because we just came from one with thorns all over it.”

She blinks, bewildered, as Damian comes crashing from the trees with a battle cry. “The last one I remember beyond Briar’s is two hundred years ago.”

 _”My name is not_ **_Biar!”_ **

They both ignore him.

Jon whistles. “Really? And they haven’t woken up yet?”

She shrugs. “Rather common. I’m not the only “evil fairy” around here. It’s a job,” she explains, making quotation marks around the words evil fairy. “I got assigned to Briar’s kingdom.”

Jon winces.

“Yeah, no, don’t call him that. His name is Damian.”

“Damn right it is,” Damian hollers.

Jon puts a hand over his mouth, opening his to say things further, when the world shakes and shakes, and then he wakes up dressed weirdly with a sword at his side.

Jon looks at the sword.

“Oh no.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always loved and brighten up my day and are saved in my Gmail.
> 
> Also! Here's my [Tumblr.](http://nikescaret.tumblr.com) Come visit and chat with me if you want!


End file.
